Anxiety to Adoration

Well, it is day two of the new position and I am in love with it so far. The little one that I watch is amazing, adorable, and so fun. It makes my baby fever grow even more actually… Working at the preschool pretty much pacified a desire to have children. Since there was a total of 14 children and 2 teachers, it was pretty hectic and not each child got their due attention.

Though now, I could see with a little one of your own and staying home with them would be a different story. I might get a little stir crazy but there are ways to get out and about. Maybe that is what I would like my career to be. A stay at home mom. Is anything wrong with that? Then once they are older and maybe going to high school, I could find another occupation. Haha. We’ll see, I’m sure that is way in the future.

Since receiving this nanny position, I have dove headlong into reading the Ann Voskamp book 1,000 gifts. This book is just so cool. I have the book that is also paired with the devotional so it is like a two in one. The devotions in the back are amazing. Each one is titled as a different grace. Such as the first one is called “Surprising Grace” and another is called “Thinking Grace”. All of these devotions circle around the idea of grace and how we can discover it in every aspect.

Lately, the book has hit home for me the idea of slowing down. I feel like most of my time is spent trying to catch up with time which then leads to stress and anxiety. What possible good could those combinations hold? None.

The devotions 6 through 9 have really opened my eyes to some dark corners of my heart. Looking at these parts of my heart is definitely uncomfortable but definitely necessary. It has challenge me to look at my life and how I handle it.

“the answer to anxiety is adoration of Christ” -Voskamp

Like I noted in my last post, I’m a natural at worrying and stressing myself out.  But maybe the key to not stressing is to discipline myself to turn my thoughts and actions from anxiety to adoration. Honestly, easier said then done.

“Stress and anxiety seem easier. Easier to let a mind run wild with the worry than to exercise discipline, to rein her in, slip the blinders on, and train her to walk steady in certain assurance, not spooked by the specters looming ahead” -Voskamp

Who am I really trusting when I am stressed or anxious? Do I really want joy when I am indulging in stress and hurried ways?

Psalm  40:4 —> Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust…

When I reject the opportunity to discipline myself and take part in joy and adoration, am I not rejecting Christ?

Yes.

John 6:29 —> Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent”

Since picking up this book, I have been adding to my list of 1,000 gifts and I have prayed for God to help me slow down so that I may sing praises of thankfulness to Him. It has helped me slow down and I have started noticing the little gifts throughout the day. How amazing is that?!? Praising God turned my heart towards Christ whereas when I wasn’t  praising God, I was falling from God.

Anyways, that is what I am journeying on right now. Till next time 🙂

E M P L O Y M E N T

Good morning! It is a crisp and chilly day with flurries floating down outside our windows. Zach and I just done with our Saturday morning breakfast and now we are just relaxing 🙂 I am so thankful for Saturday mornings like this. So peaceful and restful.

This is the french toast recipe that is our favorite:

http://formulamom.com/copycat-cracker-barrel-french-toast/

I also made sweet potato hash browns which are now my new favorite way to have hash browns. So good.

Well friends, lots has happened since my last post.

I have had employment. I was working at The Goddard School which is a daycare/preschool/kindergarten and I worked there for about a month. I met some awesome people. But THEN! The profile that I had up on Care.com got a response 🙂 I had applied to multiple positions on there and a couple got back to me! Anyways, I start Monday working full-time with a super cutie pie 🙂 I’m really excited to be working one on one with a child. I feel like I was not able to give enough attention to each child at Goddard, I tried my best but there was so much to get done.

Zach and I are also taking membership classes at our church plant Emmaus! We are super happy to be getting involved with a church plant. We can’t wait to get involved with a community group.

Our best friends also moved to South Korea for the next year to teach English. It was bittersweet to see them go. I am so excited for them and the opportunities that they are going to have. But I seriously miss them. We are able to text and hopefully have some Skype dates. But we are praying for them and that God uses them for His will.

Zach and I also found that we are going to be an Aunt and Uncle! His sister and her husband are expecting a baby in September. I can’t wait to babysit for them 🙂

My latest read is this book. Ann Voskamp has opened my eyes to be thankful for the little things such as the pretty flurries outside my windows.

Ann zeros on the issue of unthankfulness of the heart and how God can remedy this by opening up our eyes to be thankful in all situations.

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

-1 Thessalonians 5:18

“Our saving is associate with our gratitude” -Voskamp

My natural inclination is to be negative and to see the glass as half empty. You can ask my family. I am a natural worrier. Reading this book has really challenged me in a way that I have not been challenged before. Ann Voskamp points out that life is hard but there is a way to make time slow down, be happier, and to be joy filled. That is to take the time to stop and thank God for the gifts he has given us.  Slow down and notice the little things that God has placed in front of you. I have started the challenge of writing down 1,000 Gifts and I have to say, I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I’m now out and looking for them and being more aware of what Christ has done for me and how He longs for me to be close to Him. I would challenge you to try to do the same. It takes practice. It is not our natural state to be thankful for all things (especially during hard times) but with a daily study of God’s word and prayer for Him to continue to open your eyes, you will be empowered by the Holy Spirit and you will begin to see the world around you with a Christ like mind-set.

Anywho, till next time 🙂

Grownups

Well. We are out of Bolivar! Zach graduated and we have successfully moved to Lenexa, Kansas. We are in love with our new apartment and the city that surrounds it. Zach’s work is literally across the street. I can see it now looking out the window and I saw him drive there this morning. He loves having it so close (more time to sleep, haha). Currently, I do not have a job and I’m trying to not get frustrated about it. I have filled out a lot of applications online for positions but no call backs yet.

 

I have been struggling with the thought that I majored in the wrong degree. I don’t regret going to college or the amazing friendships I made there. But, I think that maybe I should have majored in something else. I’m looking for jobs in the social work field, but there are not very many who accept just a Bachelor’s. Most want a Master’s in Social Work.  I actually found a couple receptionist jobs that pay more than what a social worker would get. So sad. I’m going to start looking into bank positions as well. Until then, I’m enjoying being home and making this place oh so cozy.

 

When I saw Zach driving to work today, I couldn’t help but be so proud of him and think that we have both officially entered into the world of adulthood. His job isn’t just an internship that will end in a couple of months, he is getting a big boy paycheck, and we are paying grownup bills (cuss you student loans). We plan on staying in this apartment for at least a year. We won’t be moving for a while and its so comforting.  I’m used to staying in one place for 3 months then moving again (we moved a total of 4 times since being married for a year. yucky).

 

Overall, my point is that we are starting a new chapter in our lives for sure. It is slightly nerve-wracking but more peaceful surprisingly.   I’m excited to get involved with a good church family and to start a job and stay there for a while and not have to leave it within a couple of months. I want to invest in people here and get to know them genuinely. I’m excited to see how God uses us here and who we will meet along the way.
Anyways, so that is what’s going on with us, till next time.

Change is Coming!

Change is in the air. The colors in the trees are changing and Zach and I are starting to get the details of our move to Lenexa, Kansas figured out. We recently went up to Kansas on his fall break to hunt out an apartment and we found one! We put down a deposit and everything. Top two aspects I’m stoked about is #1, the dishwasher and #2, the hookups for a washing machine and dryer (which we will most certainly purchase once he starts working). No more hang drying our clothes on every possible nook in the apartment or sending a load down to my sister (she has free laundry at her university and has so sweetly agreed to do our laundry every weekend. You rock Katie).

Today’s goal was to fill out job applications which I did! Four total and hopefully some more tonight.

With change in the future, you should know that I am person who has never enjoyed the feeling of change. Zach and I have moved three times since being married in December 2013. You would think I would be used to change by now! But it still makes me nervous and anxious. Moving to Lenexa will be a lot smoother because we have movers coming in and packing for us and moving it all but still, new schedules, new jobs (hopefully for me!), a new church, and the new environment is all change for me.

But this time around the more I realize myself dwelling on anxious thoughts about change, the more I am determined to find comfort in the Lord. I find myself reading/clinging to Ephesians a lot lately and reminding myself that I have been made new and that I have choice of whether or not I want to dwell on my anxious thoughts. I can choose to wallow in my anxiety or I can come alive in the peace that only He provides and know that He will provide all of our needs.

Ephesians 2:12-14

remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the wall of hostility.

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in the mind of the man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand

Isaiah 46:8-11

Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times thing not yet done, saying My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose, calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. i have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed and I will do it.

Not engaging in anxiety is something that is difficult for me. I have come to find that I can make the decision to wallow or not and lately, I have become fed up with myself for being stressed/anxious (it’s exhausting). It is natural for the human mind to resist the truth about God; but by mentally focusing on who God is and renewing the faith that I have in him daily helps me to take down that habit of wallowing in anxiety. It is not easy by no means. I think the way I’m writing this makes it sound like I have flipped a switch. But I think it may be that fact that this is hopefully our last move for a while and I am just kind of run down from all the anxiety and stress. The decision to refuse has been something that has formed over sometime now.

So that is that, I hope it all makes sense! If it does not, feel free to ask questions.

Lately I have been reading this book called Boundaries have learned a lot about myself already. The two books I’m reading next are 1000 Gifts and Because He Loves Me. I get into these reading moods and devour books for a certain amount of time then take a three-month or so break. Last night, I made this for dinner and we loved it. It was perfect for the chilled night that it was.

Till next time, take care 🙂